>Memorial Day is a day of remembrance for those who have died in our nation’s service.
It is a sad state of events when we learn that many disabled veterans are kept in miserable circumstances while under the control of a guardian, whether under the VA guardian program, or through our own state courts.
Instead of Helping, VA Trustee Program is Hurting, Families Say
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My mother, Carol Hahn, has dementia. In January 2010, Mom did not know her address or phone number. She worried that she did not have any money, although she had over $1M in accounts. She forgot conversations within hours. Mom was fortunate to have MG, her “dearest friend in the world”, to care for her. They lived together since 2007. Mom often said, “He is a jewel.”
In February 2010, I called Mom’s step-granddaughter to help. Mindy Martin is unemployed, and Mom was fond of her. I asked Mindy Martin to visit Mom and bring her new clothes. Mindy Martin said she loved her “Grandma”, would do anything for her “Grandma”, and didn’t want a penny for helping her “Grandma”.
Mindy Martin never visited Mom at her home. Mindy Martin did not bring Mom new clothes. However, Mindy Martin exercised undue influence to take control of Mom and her entire estate. Until June 2010, I was Mom’s sole heir (only child), and I was beneficiary or co-owner on her bank accounts.
Chronology: On June 5, 2010, Mom was taken from her home by her accountants, Audrey Nesvold and Susan Balkom. Mom’s front door was broken inward. The deadbolt splintered the wood of the door jamb. However, San Bernardino Co. Sheriff’s Department determined that no crime was committed. Audrey Nesvold and Susan Balkom placed Mom at Mission Commons in San Bernardino, telling staff that Mom had no family and was abused by MG. Mindy Martin told Mission Commons that Mom had no money to pay her rent.
On June 10, five days after being taken from her home, Mom signed a Power of Attorney (prepared and notarized by Riverside attorney Jaxon Miller) giving authority to Mindy Martin. Mom signed a Trust making Mindy Martin successor trustee. I challenged Mindy Martin on the validity of those documents, given Mom’s advanced dementia. Mindy Martin quipped, “I asked the attorney about that, and he said it would be OK.”
On June 19, Mindy Martin moved Mom to Wildwood Canyon Villa in Yucaipa. Mindy Martin instructed Wildwood to isolate Mom from family. Wildwood confiscated Mom’s cell phone. Wildwood restricted all phone calls and visits, unless approved by Mindy Martin. San Bernardino Co. Sheriff’s Department and DA both stated, “There is nothing out of the ordinary.”
Mindy Martin made many false statements in her court documents. Based those false statements, Mindy Martin was appointed Temporary Conservator in August 2010. In December, the court finally ordered that MG and I are allowed “supervised visitation”. Cost for visitation is nearly $200/hour. The designated company refuses to schedule visits.
In September, Mom slept on a mattress on the floor. Mom slept in street clothes, as she had no pajamas. The few times family was allowed to visit, Mom was very hungry. Mom now weighs about 90 pounds. Mindy Martin cancelled a neurologic exam that I requested. The DA still says, “There is nothing out of the ordinary.” In San Bernardino Co., perhaps this situation is indeed “nothing out of the ordinary.”
In October, Mom was placed in hospice care under Dr. Victoria Rains. Dr. Rains refuses to talk to family and refuses to include family in “hospice family team meetings.” Dr. Rains and Mindy Martin continue to isolate Mom, hastening her death. Mindy Martin is likely already shopping for the new house that she asked Mom to buy for her.
Source:
NASGA – Victims
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HOW CAN WE CELEBRATE
MOTHER’S DAY
WHILE OUR MOTHERS –
AND FATHERS –
ARE IN CAPTIVITY AS
GUARDIANSHIP VICTIMS???
STOP OUR COURTS FROM
PERMITTING GUARDIANSHIP
ABUSE AND THEFT
UNDER COLOR OF LAW.
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May 6, 2011
Dear Aunt Helen,
My Shining Star. You are a treasure, my inspiration and motivation, all I do is in memory and honor of you.
The beginning of our relationship, the special bond between Godmother and Goddaughter began at my beginning, my Baptism, growing stronger and deeper each year. As a young child and throughout my adult life, I was greatly influenced by you, what I saw in you, especially your love of family and the close relationship between you and Mom.
It’s hard for me to believe it’s been 10 long years since Cynthia and I last saw you. We miss you. I miss you so very much, spending time with you, wishing we could pick up where we left off, our lively conversations, talking on the phone, catching up on family matters, our latest sewing projects, your displeasure at how difficult it was to find “Made in USA” labels on clothing and your favorite subjects, politics and current affairs.
Your wise and caring words are always with me, I can hear you saying it now, all people have a beginning and an end. It’s what you do in the middle that matters most.
You had a kind word for and about everyone, always in the background, never wanting recognition or any special attention of importance. You were and still are a very important person, the core, the heart and soul of our family, loved by everyone who knew you and many more who knew of you.
Always soft spoken, considerate, the caregiver for your aging ailing parents; memories of you as a hard working business woman, a 1940’s entrepreneur who drove a car, a fashion designer and gifted seamstress and so much more. Warm memories of you and Uncle Wally dancing in your living room, celebrating your ultimate design achievement, you finished sewing my wedding dress. You were glowing, we had completed the final alterations, my wedding dress ensemble was complete, mission accomplished.
I wish I knew. No one could have warned us or predicted the future, the torment of the last days of your life, your unnatural death that forever changed my life. We couldn’t rescue you. The way your life ended was the end of my life as I knew it, the day you left us was a new beginning, leading me in a very different direction on a mission that directs and drives me to this day.
On the last day of your life, I saw a Catholic Nun getting on an elevator, seeing her was a sign for me to call for a priest. I hope your remember Father Mike, he was the last person to see you. He is the Catholic priest from St Stephens Parish that answered my urgent call for a Priest to come to see you. I called the Rectory nearest the nursing home. Father Mike was just about to sit down to eat his dinner. I told him about you, how you were being treated, forced to go without food and water, you were in a great deal of pain, getting weaker, barely struggling to survive. He promised me that he would leave immediately to comfort and bless you, he kept his promise.
I know what you’re thinking, yes, I did send him a thank you letter with a generous donation expressing our deep appreciation for being there for you. Since that time, Father Mike was transferred to my parish, he is our new Pastor only a few blocks from our house.
And, there’s more, on November 17, 2007 Cynthia and I went to St John Berchman’s School 100 year Anniversary celebration Mass and grand reception of an all class reunion in the Church hall where alumni gathered with their graduating class for buffet dinner while catching up and reminiscing with former classmates and teachers.
All of a sudden, I couldn’t believe my eyes there he was, standing at our table, it was Father Mike, I did not know we went to school together, or knew each other, we were in the same graduation class. Seeing him took me back in time firing up all of my emotions, taking me back to place and time to April 30, 2001. It was as if everyone vanished, no one else was in that room with us. Who could have known all those years ago, we were all together at St. Johns Berchman’s Church when Mike and I received our diplomas.
All of us in the family have changed; we are very different now, we view life through different, untrusting eyes. I can only hope and pray that you understand, I did my best. I needed to protect you as much as possible from hearing upsetting news. You asked me so many questions, you wanted to know where your stuff was, you wanted your own radio, your old clock, photos of Uncle Wally, your clothes and pajamas, it upset me to know you hated what you were wearing, you knew something very bad happened to you at that house. I promised you that the family would unite, Ed and I would not stop until we discovered the truth, what happened to you and then we would hunt down everyone who hurt you.
I noticed from our first trips to the hospital up North, you never referred to ‘her’ by name, your temporary guardian’s name. You asked me many times, who is ‘she’? Why is ‘she’ here? Why is ‘she’ making decisions for you. You wanted ‘her’ gone out of your life but there was nothing we could do, we were powerless, I didn’t have any rights to help you or to complain.
As hard as I try, I cannot recover from what I witnessed. It is impossible to forget or to erase those heart wrenching memories, the visions, I can hear you, I can feel you and see you, confused, afraid and frail in that stripped down Medicare room, so weakened by medications, the psychotropic drugs that further damaged your mind and your body.
When you were transferred to Illinois, I visited you every day, suddenly there was a drastic change, you weren’t allowed in the dining room for your meals, no food was brought to your room, I was shocked at the cruel treatment of what the temporary guardian called Hospice care that was forced on you. I didn’t understand why, why now? I thought guardianship is supposed to protect you from harm. I thought Hospice care was compassionate care, comfort care. What I didn’t know and found out later we were deceived; Hospice care for you was a code word meaning elimination of the problem by prolonged death by starvation and dehydration, their method of hastening your death.
‘She’ came by the day you died, I remember ‘she’ looked you over, telling me that any funeral plans would be on hold because ‘she’ was having surgery and there wasn’t any money for a funeral anyway. ‘She’ left you slumped over in your wheelchair, and then ‘she’ was gone.
Cynthia was here for several days trying to get you some relief. She was doing her best pleading for help from the staff to get permission to order the antibiotic medications that you needed with our promise to pay. You were too weak to hold your head up, Cynthia and I wanted them to stop torturing you, she was pleading for help from the staff, to help us get you out of your wheelchair, you needed to be lying down in your bed.
You were too weak to hold your head up, Cynthia and I wanted them to stop torturing you. I was holding your head up while Cynthia was pleading for help from the staff, trying to get medications for you, someone, anyone to help us get you out of your wheelchair and put you in your bed.
No one came to help us, it seemed like an eternity. You were slumped over in your wheelchair, in agony, pleading with me, holding me, too weak to speak but only a word or two, silently screaming, pointing to your mouth to give you water.
I was in a state of panic, doing my best to stay strong for you, acting as if everything will be alright, trying to hold myself together, I was so upset and beside myself at the horror of watching you struggle and suffer. I found a water glass, I did give you a few sips of water, you were able to swallow without any problems, you wanted more; I gave you more, you were so thirsty you were pulling on the glass, water was spilling on the floor.
I would have given you as much water as you could handle, but I couldn’t, I was in serious trouble, when a member of the staff walked into your room and saw what I had done. She was angry at me, she told me to get rid of the water, one warning, go along with the plan or else. Orders were, you were allowed to have only one or two drops of water from an eye dropper.
We were desperate, stopping their plan was hopeless, we knew there was nothing more we could do to give you any relief, we had pushed our limits, if we had disobeyed their orders, their Hospice plan, one wrong move would have me and Cynthia forcibly and permanently removed from your room.
Mercifully, Father Mike comforted and blessed you; your final days of suffering were over.
I kept my promise to you with support and extraordinary assistance from Ed along with Attorneys Frank Jablonksi and David Sparer. the family united. We became your voice, with the help of an army of soldiers from the Wisconsin Attorney General’s Office fighting for you – as if you were their treasured Aunt too.
We were determined to hold “her” accountable, and we did. “She” went to jail, Aunt Helen, for what “she” did to you. At “her” sentencing, the Judge admonished “her” as “she” stood there with “her” head down: “The funds should have been used for her (Helen Fabis) benefit, but you used them for your benefit…You took money from someone who could not protect herself. You were supposed to protect her…We as a people will be judged by how we treat the least in our society and those who cannot help themselves.”
Justice was served that day and we were so glad. But what we wanted – and what I still want – is you.
We miss you, we love you, we are eternally grateful for the short time we had together.
All my love,
Sylvia
See Also:
Estate of Helen Fabis vs. William Skibbe et al;
Dane County Case Number 2002CV003962
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April 30, 2011
Dear Helen,
Everybody misses you so much. Every day of my life I think of you, Sunshine first thought in the morning and last thought at night. I can’t believe it’s been ten years. I’m 93 years old now, Hardy is 89 can you believe that? I’m the only one left from our family. I have so much to tell you I don’t know where to begin or how to say it, I could write volumes about you my sister my very best friend, all the good times the laughs we shared but there were some sad times too that make me cry, the saddest time in your life was when Wally died I think you know that was a very sad time for all of us he was a wonderful man, you were the perfect couple.
It was always you, Helen, you were the caregiver first for Wally when he was diagnosed with Diabetes before your wedding day. Over time he was unable to work full time then you opened your own business, a dry cleaning store with tailoring and clothing alterations by you with Wally helping you out when he could.
I remember when there was a time that I was able to do something to help you with sewing blouses late at night. You were special, you were born smart and talented, you started designing and sewing women’s blouses for sale in your store. You weren’t able to sew fast enough to keep up with the orders, the blouses were selling faster than you and I could sew them up.
So many memories, do you remember how afraid we were to fly for the first time in our lives when we went to California by airplane for Gerald’s wedding? We wanted to go but we didn’t want to get in that ‘tube’ and fly, we couldn’t see ourselves sitting on an airplane we couldn’t change our minds because Sylvia bought the tickets and Cynthia was driving down from Whidbey Island Washington. We were so happy we were still alive, we made it, we did it, we landed we couldn’t get off that plane fast enough. Then we forgot about being afraid of flying we had a wonderful time for two weeks meeting people, the big wedding all the traveling around the state and no cooking for two weeks that was a real treat, then we had to leave. We had to get on that ‘tube’ that airplane and worry about it all over again. We laughed about that experience for years.
I remember when you retired then you lost your lease, you needed to move, we wanted you to live with us. It was a big decision for you to leave Chicago you needed your own place you decided to try it out to rent a house next door to Jean and Adam in Edgerton, Wisconsin. It was a sad year, a year of losses for me, Pop died that same year.
I wanted to tell you all this and so much more. I can’t forget that first day when I walked into your hospital room, I couldn’t believe my eyes I tried to hide my feelings and not cry but I was shocked at the drastic change how different you were. You were awake for a few moments, you opened your eyes when I spoke to you in Polish, you recognized me and smiled, then Sylvia and Ed, but you were so sick and weak we were afraid to overdo it. I don’t know if you could understand or remember what we were saying to you or if you understood why you were in the hospital.
I tried to tell you gently but I don’t know if you remember why we couldn’t come up right away the first day you were taken by ambulance to the emergency room. When I told you that we couldn’t make the trip because Ed’s mother Charlotte died that same day and then we were at her funeral, you understood, you put your hands on your face, you were crying.
We stayed by your bedside for the entire day while you slept. The nurses were very nice to us they told us they never knew of or had a case like yours before they were shocked. They were helping us understand what happened to you telling us what to not to expect from you, how carbon monoxide poisoning destroyed your mind and body. We were doing our best to keep our feelings quiet so you wouldn’t be afraid.
You might not remember but we visited you every weekend on the nursing floor in Wisconsin then you came close to us to a nursing home in Des Plaines, Illinois. There were times when you were wide awake and alert you asked questions you always asked me where is Gerald? How is Gerald doing?
It was so hard for me to talk about him but I had to tell you the truth it hurt me to give you bad news each time you asked but I had to tell you why he isn’t here, why he couldn’t visit you, I told you that he was not doing well, he was very sick he was dying. Every time I told you, you were so upset and so sad you put your hands to your face and cried. I think it was better for you that you didn’t know he died, Gerald was gone 6 months later.
Jean is gone many years now. She never recovered. Jean was so sad she told me she cried every day. She couldn’t look at your old house, she hated the house next door calling it the ‘house of death’ she wanted it to go away. She did her best to hide her feelings but her life changed drastically after you left. Jean missed you so much, the sister arguments, she was very lonely and sad but we both know she lived by the clock, she had her schedule she was stubborn, everyone knew she didn’t want to leave her house ever, she wanted to die in her house.
If all this sadness and heartache wasn’t bad enough, in my lifetime nothing could have ever prepared me for what was coming next and for years after as the truth of what happened to you was revealed. Ten years later the heartbreak doesn’t go away and I am still shocked with disbelief and very angry that I didn’t know the truth of what was going on. Hardy and I are living with the guilt everyday of our lives that we couldn’t save you, Sylvia couldn’t save you, nobody could stop it or save you from all the people that hurt you and took advantage of you when you couldn’t protect yourself or fight back.
Helen, you would be so proud of me and Hardy, so very proud of your family. Your nieces and nephews and their spouses and partners got together as one to give you a voice. You were heard.
Can you believe it? I was in a courtroom many times it was all about what happened to you. I met the nicest people at the first hearing, I met Special Agent Michael Hoell.
The last time I was in the courtroom Judge Daley was sitting at the bench this was a very important hearing.
Family came in from Texas and Washington state and we came up from Illinois the day before, we all stayed in a hotel so we would be close to the courthouse we couldn’t be late for the hearing. I was frightened by the thought of it but I knew I had to do this for you, for the family it was my turn to be there for you, to be strong and speak for you.
When it was my turn to speak to the judge, I was so nervous, I don’t know how I did it, but I walked over and sat next to Special Agent Robert Page and nice lady Barbara Oswald she was the Assistant Attorney General. I asked her if she could help me out, I asked her if she would read out loud in the courtroom what I wrote to the judge. She said yes. I was so grateful, all of a sudden I couldn’t even talk it was too much for me. I was afraid if I would say one word I would start crying right there in that courtroom in front of everybody.
In my Victim Impact Statement to Judge James Daley, I wrote that we were betrayed, my sister Helen was stripped of her dignity, rights and all that she owned. We have so many regrets, so much we did not know, if only we knew then, what we know now.
I ask for your forgiveness.
Miss you, I love you always,
Butch
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Dear Aunt Helen,
You inspire me! You always did, even when I was quite young. I looked at you as someone “professional” and so different than my mother and other Aunts. I didn’t quite know exactly what it was back then, but I think I do now.
I remember when you took me downtown to shop and have lunch. Oh my, you cannot imagine how important that made me feel! I remember my mother saying something like “big deal”…..well it was! Thank you for showing me a slice of life I didn’t know about. As it turned out, I advocated to that life. Working downtown was so glamorous.
Then you bought the farm in Sobieski, WI !!! How much fun is that! How lucky we were to experience yet another slice of life that most city kids would never know. How I loved collecting eggs, and feeding the chickens even though it smelled! Pumping our own water at the well, bathing in a jumbo wash tub, in the kitchen no less, was such an experience! Thank you for making all this possible for us.
Your interest in my early sewing adventures, especially all the wonderful fabrics you gave me, kept me wanting to learn more. And so I did, and you were right there to answer any questions and keep me supplied with much appreciated wonderful fabrics.
Remember when Kim and Shawn were two and three years old? You were involved in the pattern making of little girls Spring coats. You gave me the most beautiful off white wool coats and fabrics with deep pink rosebuds appliquéd on the yoke/collar and hat. They were so beautiful! Something I could never afford. I miss our sewing “talk” and your quiet way of giving advice.
You and Uncle Wally were a loved fixture at Mom’s kitchen table. I took all those visits for granted. What I wouldn’t give to have you sit at my kitchen table and set your hair with beer! What a delight that would be.
When Mom and Dad moved to Wisconsin, and you stayed behind in Chicago, I was honored to drive you up to see them. What great talks we had.
I am grateful all four of my children were able to know you, and even my grandchildren were lucky enough to have a bit of time with you. I remember how terrified you would get if they were climbing or hanging upside down from a tree or something, I would laugh, because I was so conditioned to their antics, but you were not and worried so! I loved that.
I love that Dean used to come up and play Scrabble with you and Mom, those were very precious moments for him. Thank you for all the wonderful memories that my entire family has, especially me. You were a lady far ahead of her time, I see that now.
Thank you for being my mother’s devoted friend and sister through all those years of widowhood. Without you, I cannot imagine how she would have survived. You kept her alive, even if it was to argue a Scrabble rule or what TV show to watch! You were the “spark” that she needed, and helped her to become more sociable with the few neighbors you had. It could have been very isolated for her, but not with you there!
You are a great lady, and we have all been blessed to have some time with you starting at birth in my case. We miss you and love you.
You are loved and missed so much.
Love and admiration,
Bubbles
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Noni was having difficulty breathing earlier but is better now. She is sleeping. They are giving her morphine every two to three hours. She is not in any pain. I am.
Many of my personal belongings are still at my Grandmother’s house. Clothes, furniture, personal items, home decor, linens, paperwork, dishes, china, glasses, STUFF! These are all items that I brought with me when I moved to San Francisco to care for my Grandmother at the request of my brother and uncle.
I can EVEN prove that these are my property. I have receipts and other documentation proving that the items were purchased by me with my money before I moved to my Grandmother’s house.
YOU WILL NEVER guess what is happening. Lawrence “Larry” Siracusa, the one that just flat out lies to the Judge, will not allow me to pick-up my property!!
I don’t know why I am surprised!
He is responsible for over $600,000 in expenses over a 12 month period that are being charged to my Grandmother’s Trust!
He is responsible for the fact that my Grandmother is being forced to die in a nursing home. Years ago she made me promise I would never let this happen. I dispise him for what he has done to my Grandmother.
He is responsible for filing dozens of documents with the court that are full of lies and exaggerations…pure fiction. He then has his client sign the pack of lies and perjure herself.
He is the reason that my Uncle Paul and I have been excluded from my Grandmother’s life for the past 18 months.
He is the reason my children have had only limited access to their Great Grandmother.
Source:
NoniKatiesHouse
>SB 1499 should be killed, and HB2424 passed without further delay, with one amendment: quarterly reports in the first year, semiannual in the second, and annually in the third and subsequent years of a guardianship or conservatorship, because fiduciary fees are out of control. All “Interested persons” should receive copies, without having to apply for same, and “interested persons” will do a better monitoring job than the courts would or could.
One need look no further than the Marie Long case and the outrageous and obscene fee billings by the fiduciaries to know that there must be a cap on attorney fees in the probate courts.
If family law was the “bread and butter” of the Bar, then guardianship and conservatorship may be the new “caviar.” The purpose of HB2424 is to put a cap on fees, and the purpose of SB1499 is to create a total management plan in favor of continued asset bleeding.
The word “vexatious” in SB 1499 is a very red flag. It tells us that that section of the Bill on fees is drafted solely to harass or subdue an adversary – the family -to shut them out of court by means of financial harassment and punishment.
Never in our experience do we hear of probate lawyers being tagged as “vexatious” litigants. The Senate version of a probate remedy sounds like a euthanasia Bill for families! It is a total put-down to any attempt by the family to fight unlawful and abusive guardianships and conservatorships.
The dirty secrets are all out – there is no reform that can help protect the greedy fiduciaries any longer. The probate courts must clean up their act – not by statutory tricks such as in 1499, but by imposing fee caps on the “caviar-consuming” lawyers, by applying the existing statutes properly,and protecting the civil liberties and human rights of the wards and their families. Retaliation by a guardian in prohibiting visitation must be met with quickly and severely.
National Association to Stop Guardian Abuse 